


When Your Friend Walks In On You Three Fingers Deep In Your Ass

by Scotland_Axel (orphan_account)



Category: Captain America (Movies), Captain America - All Media Types
Genre: Anal Fingering, Attempt at Humor, Crack, Established Relationship, Humor, M/M, Sexual Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-03
Updated: 2018-02-03
Packaged: 2019-03-13 05:48:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 372
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13564155
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/Scotland_Axel
Summary: Nat walks in on Steve preparing himself for Sam's return and then proceeds to make fun of his asshole. Y'know, cuz she's a good bro





	When Your Friend Walks In On You Three Fingers Deep In Your Ass

Steve is literally three fingers deep in his own ass when he hears the bedroom door open and sees none other than fucking Natasha in the doorway.

He yelps as soon as their eyes lock and closes his legs, rolling over onto his side to keep as much of his dignity as he can.

_“Nata_ ** _sha!_** There is a _Reason_ doors _Exist!_ It’s so people _knock_ before they _enter!_ Oh my God! What do you want?” Steve shouts, half his face pressed into the sheets. 

“I’m sorry, God. The real victim is me here, I never expected to see one of my best friend’s asshole.”   
“Well, I didn't want you to see that either just so we’re clear. Now  _ what  _ did you want?” Steve gripes, finally looking up at her.

Natasha raises her eyebrows and shakes her head, “I don't even know, I completely forgot. The sight of your bleached asshole  _ bleached _ it from my mind.”

Steve sits up, and angrily punches the bed, “I do  _ not _ have a  _ bleached asshole, Natasha!”  _

“Calm down it was only a joke.” 

“Yeah, well it wasn’t funny, and please go if you can’t even remember what you interrupted me for.” Steve says, not even sure if he’ll be able to continue once she’s gone. Never has a mood been so effectively ruined.

“What did I interrupt, anyway?”

“Sam’s coming home today, alright? I was getting myself ready for him, and I’d like to return to it so if you please!” He waves a hand at the door, and Natasha rolls her eyes.

“Fine, but are you insecure about your asshole?”

“No,” Steve answers, confused and beyond exasperated, “Why would you think that?”

“Cause you didn't like my asshole joke, Sam should compliment your asshole more, it’s actually quite lovely, Steve.” 

Steve drags his hands over his face, “Nat, if you value our friendship at all you will leave.” 

Steve sighs gratefully when the door closes and falls back against the bed.

* * *

 

Unfortunately, the first thing Steve hears when Sam comes home is, “Nat texted me to compliment your asshole more? Are you insecure about your asshole?” 

“Oh my God!  _ I am not insecure about my asshole!” _

Steve is going to kill Natasha, he really is. 


End file.
